Golden Kela Awards: Get Your Vote In!

There is still time to vote for the Golden Kelas, an alternative award ceremony celebrating the best-of-the-worst of Bollywood, taking place on March 12th.

Last year was not exactly a vintage year for Bollywood, and like 2009, bought us a mixture of bland big-budget movies, obnoxious holiday crowd-pleasers  and uninspiring debuts. However, thanks to the Golden Kelas, you now get the chance to vote for the worst offenders of the year. As well as awards for worst movie, worst actor/actress and most irritating song, there are ‘special awards’ such as The Dara Singh Award for Worst Accent and The Laijja Award for Worst Treatment of a Serious Issue.

For me, the absolute cinematic low of the year was Action replayy. This really was one of the worst films I have ever seen, and I don’t say that lightly. My girl Surabhi and I lost three hours of our lives watching that movie. We will never get those hours back. However, you can help by voting for Action replayy, which I believe is up for Worst Movie, Worst Actress and Worst Debut among others.

Last year, Kambakht Ishq won worst film, which I feel was very well-deserved. Any film in which the hero’s first line to the heroine is ‘shut up, you uptight bitch’, and in which aforesaid trainee-surgeon-heroine accidentally loses a heart-shaped charm from her bracelet inside the abdominal cavity of a patient she is operating on (whom she later marries) has got to merit this kind of honour. Oh, and did I mention that the heart-shaped charm plays wedding bhajans, which can be heard from time to time emanating from deep inside the patient’s thorax at inopportune moments?

In amongst all of those bad movies from 2010, I bet there were some that you Bollywood watchers secretly loved. For me, my guilty pleasure was Anjaana Anjaani, which I watched in a cinema in Biratnagar on a muggy afternoon. Contrived and ridiculous but strangely moving, and Priyanka Chopra and ranbir Kapoor were rather adorable together. Own up, what were yours?

If we’re going to talk about ridiculous, nothing can compete with rajnikanth-starrer robot. This song is up for Most ridiculous Lyrics. I can’t claim to understand all of them but from what I can catch it’s pretty absurd.

Let’s hope that 2011 is going to be an improvement, and that if it’s not, at least we can continue to enjoy some laughs at what the Golden Kela people call ‘the cream of the crap’ of Bollywood.


4 Responses to “Golden Kela Awards: Get Your Vote In!”

  1. I thought Anjana Anjani was quite bad. One minute they’re jumping off and another they’re singing in a bar. Even for Bollywood, thats a bit too much. Whats with them taking suicides so lightly? Must have pissed off a lot of people.

  2. Yeah, it was pretty ridiculous – I think this might say something about how bored I was when I watched this! Now, if you really want a movie that treats the topic of suicide badly then watch Jhoota Hi Sahi – only Bollywood would come up with the idea of a rom-com centred around a suicide helpline. I cringed so much i practically imploded when i watched this!!

  3. just seen robot – sfx were brilliant so allow it yaar 😛

  4. just needed to say aish dear could have swayed her hips a liiiiiittle bit more. what she saw at 0:24 just didn’t cut it for me. nope.

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